Dial Tone

I could write a novel with all of the thoughts in my head but I can't seem to spit out the first sentence and they say that getting started's the hardest part but I'd be forced to disagree 'cause I don't think it gets much easier beyond that because once you get going you realize you've got to be open and open's not something I'm accustomed to being around many people these days due to the fact that it always leaves me broken and torn open and bleeding with no one around to help me stitch up the pain and the pain is what's left lingering long past the end of the party, past the end of the walk, past the end of the phone conversation where I'm still sitting there listening to the dial tone 15 minutes after the last "goodbye" and goodbyes seem to follow me or chase me maybe its hard to tell since I'm stuck on a ferris wheel of far too many goodbyes and far too few hellos it seems so unbalanced I'm not sure how I'm still on this ride it seems I'm due to fall off any day now but instead of falling down I think I'll probably fall up because that's the only place to go from here and down only leads to reality which is something I'm trying hard to avoid because I've realized lately that reality isn't fair and isn't right and doesn't add up and I know I'm not too good at math but I'd rather exist somewhere where 2 + 2 = 5 if that means when I wake up he'll still be alive and we'll still be in love and she'll still come around and all in all 5's a better number than 4 anyway but who am I to say?

Mr. Fear

I met Fear
We shook hands recently
Rubbed shoulders, actually
Turns out He's moved in to the empty apartment nextdoor
I needed a new friend as mine keep moving out
And He so readily became my newest, closest friend
That I didn't even notice as He started moving in
To my apartment, to my room, to my bed
We moved from friends to dating to engagement in record time
With a relationship so intimate I barely even realized I could no longer breathe
As His icy fingers enclosed around my lungs squeezing tightly
Until I finally stopped breathing and my eyes started closing
And my heart stopped beating and I died