Brevity

passing glances sting
fading memories persist
scars that will not heal




averting my eyes
cannot hide my jealousy
wish I were better




nothing else to say
walking on rocks clears the mind
time to cross the bridge




eyes once full of life
glance dimly around the room
is there no escape?




trust and commitment
nearly impossibly gained
so easily lost

Nighttime Delirium

and I lie awake for one more restless night
as the meaningless increments are kept in
perfect time by the brilliantly glowing
numbers that float through the air to my bed
and taunt me with their passing

I can't even say what is on my heart because
the words form knots before they even
reach my lips so I choke them back down
although occasionally I miss a few
and out they spew and stain the air before me

circling around the usual racetrack of thoughts
there goes my mind in first and last place
seeing no new roads and passing no new finish lines
only tiring of the same old skid marks
the same old flags and the same old trophies

tossing and turning doesn't actually do much
because the sheets become bars in my cage
of a bed and the dream catcher, a hypnotist
as my eyes follow its swinging dance
and the dark fades to light again

one of these days I'll find the courage to
make a change and to put a stop to these endless days
because enough is quite enough
I'm through with quoting silly lines without
the strength to make them mean something

so, here's to meaning something

Starlight is Best for Pondering

on nights such as this
I find my mind drifting
down almost forgotten memories
and lonely past smiles

on nights such as this
I find myself wandering
wishing I could wander
my way into you

on nights such as this
I find my thoughts lingering
on three words once spoken
that echo on still

Forever Has Seven Letters But So Does Goodbye

I'll write down my thoughts and write down my fears
then give them all to you, just lend me your ears
I'll act my heart out because its all I can do
to fully express what I'm feeling for you
because my words and actions get lost in translation
and most recently I've had this revelation
that the one thing that I've dreamt of repeatedly
is suddenly standing right in front of me

and my mind goes blank
and my hands start to shake


how can I stare into the depths of your eyes
how can I say what's on the tip of my tongue
how can I reach out and hold your hand
how can I hold you with me in a kiss

without staring
and saying
and reaching
and holding
forever

Shoelace

walks are never long enough
to say what should be said
how can I possibly open my mouth
and say all the things on my heart
I never thought I'd have this chance
and maybe its not really there
but I'm not a fan of wasting my time
and I won't stand for holding regrets
so give me a chance
to say what I mean
and mean what I say
once more

Wrinkles

uncertain overtones
do you know what I'm thinking
can you read through my mask
does my strong face deceive you

if I really was strong
I'd tell you what I'm feeling
I'd share all my thoughts
in a way quite nostalgic

but I'm not strong
I'm falling apart
I'm waiting for something
anything
one thing
to happen

I'm holding on
to faded colors
shredded memories
settled laughter

wrinkled paper
can never
fully be
smoothed out
again

Post-It Notes

the questioning heart
reaches out to grab me
I quickly glance away
but your stare has caught hold
it follows me away
to where I am most alone
I can feel it in the night
as I hold on to Africa
and the original-est Corn
while my thoughts carry me away...

what should I do as I reach this conclusion?
looking back I desire to move forward
but separation beckons on the near horizon
can a heart stay disconnected from a body for so long?


mine has.

Broken Mirrors Still Reflect

hesitant to go to sleep with nightmares that run rampant in my brain
but opening my eyes I see them still plainly before me
nightmares awake and asleep and in between
I'm stuck in a parallel world from where I used to be
I can see you here and hear your voice but you're stuck behind a broken glass
its a mirror of sorts and your image's warped but its you all the same
as you've always been
out of my pain I ran away in a blinded rage and stumbled upon my current fate and here I lie confused and alone but not alone and yet more alone than ever before
curiouser and curiouser I find my lot to be
as my past runs along ahead and my present lags behind
and the weight of current situations threaten to drown me yet
I long for freedom, long for choices, choices others always make for me
my heart lays in shards spread across a long table
a buffet line for all who walk by
but the one hand who comes bearing a question mark
makes more sense than those offering answers