Bring It.

I am not who I once was.
For that matter, I am not who I was yesterday.
Tomorrow, I will be someone else.
This might have previously worried be, but today it only serves to excite me.

I have not always liked myself.
I have not always been a "good person."
I am not proud of my past.
I do not wish to return to it.
I have hurt people.
I have been hurt by people.
I have made countless mistakes.

However, I refuse to hold regrets.
I refuse to hold grudges.
I have let so much go and I won't pick it up again.
I have no where to go but forward, so I will.

I find myself at a transitional point in my life once again.
Here I face my last first day ever.
Its frightening.
Its exciting.
I'm ready.

I'm ready to learn a lot.
I'm ready to follow God.
I'm ready to have fun.
I'm ready to be in shows.
I'm ready to do what I love.
I'm ready to be with those I love.
I'm ready to be honest.
I'm ready to avoid needless conflict.
I'm ready to show God's love.
I'm ready to let go of fear.
I'm ready to forgive and forget.
I'm ready to move on and move up.
I'm ready to grow up.
I'm ready for one more year.

I don't plan on wasting a single second of this year on:
fears
arguments
anger
regret
grudges
strife
revenge
tears

I believe in living and learning.
I have lived a lot recently.
I have learned a lot recently.
Time to apply my latest lessons.

Here's to Senior Year.

Bring it.

I Never Was Good At Mental Math

I'm counting the days since I last cried that way
and its a much bigger number than I'm used to
and I'm counting the smiles that you put on my face
and its a much bigger number than I'm used to

I'm counting the things about you that inspire me
to entirely give up on the fears held inside me
and its a number so large I don't know what to do with it
so I guess I'll keep on running the impossible equation

Because what can I do when the numbers don't add up
to the expectations I previously set for them
and what can I do when my plans go askew
'cause you walked right in and flipped them upside-down

See, the trouble lies here in the mental math I'm doing
I've learned lots from the past -like that numbers don't lie
but this new kinda math that you're starting to teach me
shows that infinity might be within my arms length of reaching

You're all sorts of trouble just waiting to happen
and I think I'll need more than a calculator to figure you out
But all of a sudden I've seemed to take a liking
to the strange sort of math that you're bringing about

Bleed It Out And Move On

I'm starting over
and I'm moving on
I can breathe again
I am not a pawn
nothing holds me now
no one's telling me lies
seeing the future ahead
through my own eyes
you do not define me
I am flying free
no more silly promises
can ever hold me
I have found something
much more real than you
and I am chasing it
and I can see its true
my future is uncertain
I've never been more relieved
I'm over making plans
because I think you'd agree
that plans fall through
so I'm not planning this one
I'm living it out
day by day having fun
laughing and learning
and taking some chances
and letting go of fear
and dancing life's dances
I'm unstoppable
I will learn to trust again
and I will learn to love
you won't hold me back, old friend
See, I know who I am
where've I've been, what I need
and with every new pain
I've learned how to bleed
in a way that leaves scars
but drains me of the past
and I'm moving along
towards my future so fast
that I look back and see you
far away in the distance
and can now realize
I don't need your assistance
your lofty compliments
or empty poetic lines
you can't charm me again
because I now see the signs
I find you're not needed
take your game to another
I've moved on, you've moved on
so its time for one other
who doesn't feel abused
when I offer my care
and who honestly seems to be
straight from my prayers
so have a nice life
I hope you sleep well
I hope you keep on
I hope you're days' swell
this is goodbye now
you won't see me around
and when you wonder why
just remember the sound
of your voice once saying
"I'll always love you so"
and then your voice saying
"its time for me to go"